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Monday, June 06, 2005
"Topping from Below"

From Topping from Below, by Laura Reese:

I'm not sure how the pain figures into all this, but on some sexual level I like being dominated, being controlled by another person. I can't explain it. As a feminist, it goes against everything I believe. All my life I've worked hard to establish and maintain my credibility. I've fought against men who tried to relegate me to a lesser position simply because I was a woman. I proved at work that I could be as strong, emotionally and intellectually, as any man. Yet now I find that M.'s dominion over me, is undeniably pleasurable.

I wonder what is happening to me.


posted by Gabby Hey at 11:06 AM 6 comments

6 Comments:

Blogger Malcolm said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:18 AM  
Blogger Malcolm said...

gabby, do we take this as applying to you? If so, I have a comment to make.

1:21 AM  
Blogger W. S. Cross said...

What's happening is your desires are making themselves apparent, and they have no interest in what your rational mind is saying. Often it is opiates, drink or other "releases" that bring these desires to the fore, but you are either ready to allow them out, or they are simply too strong for you to contain them. In either case, at least you've found a partner to be safe with, to have your cake and eat it, too.

8:12 AM  
Blogger Gabby Hey said...

Yes, Malcolm, that quote really hit home for me. I really identified with it. Even though the character she's referring to in the book is cruel and manipulative (and my D is affectionate, loving, and perfectly dominating), I still related to her.

Funny, you should mention drink, WS, since I'm in recovery. When drinking (before I crossed that invisible line into hell) I felt the freedom to be more sexually adventurous, but never thought that would happen in sobriety. Guess I was wrong. Way wrong. :-) And, I'm definitely enjoying my cake.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Malcolm said...

Now that you have said this does apply to you, I can't remember the exact comment I was going to make, gabby. Anyway, what it says does not seem hard to understand. Human nature is fraught with contradictions, we must get used to it.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Malcolm said...

Now that you have said this does apply to you, I can't remember the exact comment I was going to make, gabby. Anyway, what it says does not seem hard to understand. Human nature is fraught with contradictions, we must get used to it.

6:23 AM  

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