/* Theme Name: 2 Good 4 You Version: 1.0 Author: Web Divas Author URL: http://www.web-divas.com/ Copyright: Gabby Hey - 2005 */ gabby surrenders: Something's broken .comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Monday, November 07, 2005
Something's broken

I have so many random unconnected thoughts pinging around in my head lately, I've had a hard time stringing them together into coherent ideas. I feel as if I might be going through some sort of transformation. Of what kind, I'm not sure. I have this vague, but persisent feeling that I'm struggling with something, but I haven't come face to face with it yet. It's almost like a mild, fuzzy hangover...which, of course, it can't be since I'm coming up on 8 months of sobriety this week. It's an "I want more" feeling drumming in my mind, but not an unsatisfied or unhappy feeling. Actually, I'm feeling very happy and content in my little world right now, so it's hard to put my finger on.

Very strange. I was even contemplating giving up on my blog, because this restlessness has been preventing me from focusing on any single topic or idea for longer than a nanosecond. But I don't think that's the answer. And when I'm honest with myself and write what I'm really feeling, I find it incredibly therapeutic. Maybe that's what it is. I think I've been stunted lately. I think I've been allowing my virtual community to dictate a standard of behavior and list of rules to me that have prevented me from speaking with my true voice. The irony of it is that no one has done such a thing at all...I think it's been me all along. Hasn't it?

Well, anyway, whatever it is, I'm going to figure it out and fix it.

posted by Gabby Hey at 11:14 AM 6 comments


Blogger A said...

I'm going through something similar but I don't know what it is either.

Maybe it's seasonal? The days growing shorter? Age? Growth? Change?

I don't know...but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one. :-)

12:33 PM  
Blogger Gabby Hey said...

I agree. I think that might actually be a very good reason for having a blog...validation. Somewhere out there in the blogspere, someone else can relate to how you're feeling or what you're going through. Thanks, Amber. :-)

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope the epiphany comes quickly and that you learn on the journey.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Freya said...

You know, this brings to mind a quote from the Matrix, "It's the question that drives us."

Ask and listen to yourself when you answer, even if you say you don't know because I know that *I* want to hear Gabby's voice.

5:32 PM  
Blogger *J* said...

Previous posters have said things much wiser than I can come up with.

All I know is that I love to hear from you...I'm really not particular about the subject.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Temptation said...

I think a lot of bloggers have felt (at some point) that they are supposed to follow some list of imaginary rules, dectating what they can and cannot blog about. I know I have suffered from it more than once.

I think that the truth is we are just more or less afraid to reveal parts of ourselves that are so private. It can be hard to put such delicate shards of your thoughts and feelings out there for the world to see. There is something highly unnerving, but also wonderfully cathartic about blogging our intimate thoughts.

Take your time figuring it out, we will all be waiting for you when you are ready :) Take care.

4:56 PM  

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