Friday, May 13, 2005
Loving my Dom
I'm not feeling very clever or interesting today.
Last night didn't turn out exactly like I had planned. I ended up having to go to a meeting late and since we live so far from civilization I didn't get home until after 10pm (I almost hit a cougar on the way home - my first cougar since moving to the Pacific NW last year). The baby girl was still up and rolling around on the floor while D cleaned the kitchen (did I mention how much I adore him?). By the time she was in bed, my darling husband didn't have the energy to do anything. He's been working so late this week. So I'm going to surprise him tonight. I'm sending the kids to my parents and will surprise D wearing lingerie (his favorite, of course).
I started reading "The Loving Dominant," which I bought for D. There's some good info in there, I just don't know how receptive he'll be to reading about BDSM in a book. He's more of a "get to the point" and "trail and error" kind of man. There is a small helpful section for subs to give their doms that I think he'll be interested in.
posted by Gabby Hey at 1:19 PM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Since asking D to read my blog, we haven't had too much time alone because he's been working late and general family stuff gets in the way. We did have a rather rough and lovely quickie this morning in the bathroom after our son went off to school and our daughter was still asleep. It's strange how much I used to hate our quick little meetings in the morning...and now I relish them and look forward to them. When I was sitting on my vanity bench and he walked up to me, bent down and firmly pulled my mouth to his (his hand on the back of my neck is an instant turn on), my skin tingled. I was more than eager to take him into my mouth and get him hard. I used to resist and gag when he pushed too hard, but now I just relax and let it happen. The result is a much more satisfying experience for both of us (maybe I should get my tongue pierced next - HA!).
And when he bent me over the counter and entered me, my pussy was wet with excitement (not like in the past when he'd have to use lubricant to moisten me in the morning) and ready for him. Man oh man, does he love my new nipple rings! I know it's killing him to have to be so gentle still...I know he just wants to yank on them...ecstasy for me. No more vanilla morning quickies for this old married couple. When he asked me to lift my leg and show him my pussy, I was very compliant and eager to please, and he was obviously turned on by my piercing there (which also feels delightful to me). So entered me again and then finished himself off while I kissed and carrassed him.
Have I mentioned that I love him more and more every day and that he's about the sexiest man I've ever met?
At the bookstore today I ran across one copy of "The Loving Dominant
." When D comes home tonight (late), I'm going to give it to him along with the best blow job ever (or whatever else he needs from me).
posted by Gabby Hey at 2:41 PM
I'm so thrilled to see that ~erica started a blog
! Thanks for sharing, ~erica...and especially, thank you for the link to the pretty red cuffs and collar
. Very, very sexy.
posted by Gabby Hey at 2:21 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Gorey Piercing Details
Ok, for all of us detail whores (as J said), here is the gorey blow-by-blow of my first non-ear piercing experience. Like I said before, I'm not sure really why or how I decided to go and get stabbed in my girlie parts on my 36th birthday, but when the thought struck it stuck. All day I couldn't shake it. And being the loving, giving man he is, D called the local reputable piercing woman and made me an appointment for that very evening. Now, keep in mind I was pretty crazy when I was in my early 20s, but I live a fairly vanilla experience nowadays (expect for that stint in rehab and the tiny, tiny spider tattoo on my shoulder from when I was 18). I even used to have a pretty exciting ("smack my ass, daddy!") sex life way back before the kids, but piercing is way out of my box. Although, D has ben begging for it for years...for me, it was out of the question. Up until recently, I had closed my mind and body off to a lot of things.
So, anyway, when we finally made it to my appointment I think I had worked myself into a little tizzy and it really didn't help that she was running behind about 45 minutes...more time to think too much. What the hell was I doing? I really have lost my mind, haven't I? Tie me up, stick a needle through my boobs, and force me to give you a BJ in the car? Was this really the appropriate behaviour of a 36 year old mother? That's me: think, talk, think, talk, think, talk, talk, talk, think, think, think. Argh, it never ends. I need to work on my true sub qualities!
By the time I made it into the room, my face was bright red, my heart was racing, and my whole body was clammy. I hadn't mentioned that I wanted my clit done so she was surprised and started asking me all kinds of questions about my "hood" and clit...does it stick out, is it exposed, does it grow in size a lot when I'm turned on? Huh? I dunno. Frankly, I don't know much about my body...how sad. When my son was born and they wanted to motivate me to push they brought in a mirror. I freaked out and made them take it away. I think this whole journey has a lot to do with making peace with my body and accepting my feelings and who I really am. Anyway, I digress. What the tech was trying to figure out is if she needed to pierce me laterally with a barbell or double-horizontally with a ring. Personally, I like the ring, but I ended up with the barbell because of the way I'm arranged. Now, I'm glad.
She started with my nipples. She couldn't use the smaller rings because I have big nipples. I picked out these cute little pink crystals for the ends. Then I took my top and bra off and sat there, almost trembling while she used a pen to mark on either side of my nipples. Then she took out these nasty (maybe in a good way) clamps and attached them. D stood behind me with his arms around my shoulders (I haven't yet talked about Ds wonderful, encompassing arms, but I will later). I practiced some breathing and then she stuck me with this monsterous hollow needle. Fucking ouch. Goddam it, mother fucker, that hurt. Then to add insult to injury, she pulled that enormous stick pin out of me and put the ring and jewel in. I have to admit, it looked kind of cool. When I look at my boobs I see pounds lost and gained and babies nursed, but D absolutely loves my boobs so this was a big time turn on for him. She did the other one pretty much the same way, except she stuck me on the other side...more ouch. I could not believe that I did it...my tits were pierced
!!!! I was ready to go. But I knew I had to go through with the rest. This was one thing I was really doing for my Darling D. I knew I should want it for me, but I really, really wanted to do it for him and if I didn't go through it then, I would never do it.
Off came my pants and thong (I'm so glad I decided to wear a matching bra and panties - that never happens!). By the time I sat on that table naked I was shaking, but, thankfully, my endorphins were starting to kick in. It was almost a glorious agony, if that makes sense...plus, I took a lot of pleasure in the fact that D was thrilled and proud. Breath, breath, breath, STICK! Youch! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!! All I could think was: "you better love me, asshole, because this hurts like a bastard!" Then she realized that she had put a too short bar in, but I was too traumatized to change it so I went back the next day (it was not uncomfortable at all to have the jewelry changed, btw). D and the piercer struggled to get the ball on one end for some reason, but then it was over. Then it was Darling D's turn to get his nipple pierced. Apparently, it's much more painful for a man because it all muscle there, not like women who have so much more fatty tissue. I thought he was going to pass out, but it is sexy as hell. I get warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. :)
Now we have a bunch of rules I have to follow for after care for a few weeks to prevent infection and promote proper healing. Last night was the first time we've had sex (not counting BJs for D) since the piercings. He wanted to tug on those puppies so bad, but he has to wait (although that didn't stop him from a little roughness)...and let me just say one thing about the barbell below: heavenly.
Added: Here is a picture of the kind of piercing I got (it's not me, I'm shaved, anyway):
go down to VCH (Vertical Clit Hood)
posted by Gabby Hey at 11:06 AM
And Now it Begins (or The Making of a Dom)
After my post yesterday, I nervously sat my Darling D down in front of the computer and had him read my blog. I'm sure it was a little distracting reading about the uncontrollable lust of his wife on the Internet while his 7 yr old son bounced around the room begging to play online games. But, that, in a nutshell, is our life. Let's just say that my husband was glued to the screen. We didn't get to discuss it because our son was there and I still had some work to get done so they left (after D whispers in my ear that I'm a "little slut" and playfully smacks me on the ass). By the time I got home I was feeling pretty anxious...and pretty excited.
As I was getting dinner ready and he was cleaning up the kitchen, D made several very Dom-like comments and fairly aggressive gestures towards me (please keep in mind that I have 3 very new, very fresh piercings that are still pretty tender). Needless to say, I spent most of dinner wet with anticipation and wishing we were alone. After our toddler's n
th tantrum of the day, I finally got her to bed. Unfortunately, I fell asleep with her and almost missed my first sexual relations with D in almost a week. I'm so, so glad he decided to wake me up.
We both were pretty tired last night, but found enough energy to have some lovingly, rough sex that left me pleasantly exhausted and full. Like I said, my new "jewelry" is still tender, but it's obvious that my nether-piercing is going to drastically improve my orgasims. Very nice.
I really have to say "thanks" to Julia and Erica for their comments to my post yesterday. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read my babbling and actually respond with thoughtfulness. Your input is really, really helpful.
posted by Gabby Hey at 8:28 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Desire and Confusion
Can someone please tell me what the hell my problem is and why I have to try and be so different? And while you're at it, why does this whole thing have to be so mired in my own self-imposed drama? Why must I over-intellectualize EVERYTHING
? I think I'm just going to change my middle name to Confusion. Geez, it's not like I'm trying to figure out the meaning of life...just how to have a better, more fullfilling relationship with the man that I adore. It really shouldn't be so tough and I really shouldn't be so intimidated by telling him how I feel and what I want. After a lifetime of being bold and walking around calling my self the "f" word (feminist, duh!) now I suddenly spring on my husband that I'm tired of it and that I want him to take control...in the bedroom, at least....for now, at least. Is there such thing as a submissive feminist? I choose to be submissive, therefore...blah, blah, blah. Ha!
And, frankly, I still don't know what the hell I really want. And, if I don't really talk to D about the feeling I'm having then I'll never know what he really wants. He knows I'm going through some changes right now. He knows that I'm extremely horny lately and that I'm very eager to please him and give him pleasure. I'm not so sure he really understands the depth of my desires. Damn, it would be so much easier if he could just read my mind! ;-) Maybe not.
I definitely don't see us moving into a 24/7 deal (although Kaylem
make it sound very erotic and appealing), but I do have to wonder ('cause that's what I do) what kind of impact this sort of relationship would have on our children. Anyway, that's a whole different topic for another time.
Tonight will be the first time in days we'll be able to spend a little private time together. I'm not sure what will happen as far as discussing "all this," but I sure hope we make some progress. I feel stalled right now and I'm eager to start moving forward.
posted by Gabby Hey at 12:55 PM
Monday, May 09, 2005
Soccer Mom Gets Pierced!
Ok, well, I'm not exactly soccer mom, but I come pretty close to it. Anyway, I did something VERY out of character on Friday. My Darling D has been asking me for almost 10 years to get my nipples pierced and, playfully, adding that he'd love it if I'd do my clit, too. Until recently, the mere thought of it made me cringe and it's not really something I'd even consider...I'm mean, really, who wants to see that after giving birth to and nursing 2 kids!? Well, apparently, D does. His love for me and my body is so reassuring (we've been through our ups and downs, but I don't think I could possibly love my husband any more than I do right now).
So, Friday was my 36th birthday and since I don't drink anymore, I was trying to figure out a fun way to celebrate since we had a babysitter. And, honestly, I don't even remember when or why I thought of it, but I decided to get my nipples pierced. When we got down to the place, I had talked myself into also getting my pussy done. The look on D's face was priceless. Friggin' classic. Thankfully, the technician was a woman with tons of experience...she was really amused that we were married and for so long. I doubt they get many people like us in there (read: old) and she thought it was pretty cool. Anyway, so I did it. I can't believe I did it, but I did. So today I'm nursing sore nipples and a sore pussy, trying to keep the kids from jumping and pulling on me (not so easy with a 2 yr old!). I'm glad I did it, but I really need to have some sexual contact with my husband soon or I'll go crazy. We've had houseguests so getting time alone has been difficult over the weekend. They're gone now and I'm hoping for a good spanking tonight...
posted by Gabby Hey at 8:16 AM