Friday, May 20, 2005
Argh. I'm pretty sure that I have yet to post even one strictly sexy description of a session with the Domly D. Privacy is non-existent for us right now. Our time together seems limited to stolen moments hiding in the bathroom or planned nights after the children are asleep. Let me tell you, our living arrangement couldn't be less conducive to exploring D/s than, say, living in a commune. While we're looking for property to build a house on, our little family is staying in my parent's guest house. Not only do we have the kids running around in a small space, but we have the ever helpful parents checking in periodically. There great divide between real life and fantasy is growing wider.
So last night, after much planning and anticipation, hubby and I were going to spend a little alone time together. I had been threatened all day with all the sexual perversions my D was going to perform on me and vice versa...there were several mentions of being ben over and fucked in every hole, etc, etc. He even made it to the sex shop and picked a new little "friend" for me.
After family responsibilites finally wound down, I took a shower and shaved my legs and pussy (D absolutely loves it when it's nice and smooth -- easy access, I suppose), put on some sexy lingerie (at least he likes it) and began to act accordingly. Just when things were really starting to get hot, we hear a cry from the bedroom "I want Mommy." Instant buzz kill. So after trying to get the little one back to sleep (she fought it for almost 90 minutes), we were finally able to pick up where we left off, but the mood was different. It felt great, but the naughtiness was gone. I didn't get introduced to my new friend yet, either...so maybe tonight.As a side note, something occured to me last night about bondage. While the thought of my incredibly sexy man putting a collar and cuffs on me makes me wet just thinking about it, I doubt very much that our love will progress that way. I realized last night how much I love to touch D. I have a hard time keeping my hands off his body and couldn't imagine not being able to caress his cock while we roll around. And his reactions to my touch are very powerful...I know he loves to feel my hands on him. Anyway, it was just a thought.
posted by Gabby Hey at 9:56 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Is that your cock in my mouth or are you just happy to see me?
Oooohhhh....the big, bad D just called to let me know he was going to pick up a little something from the local sex shop on his way home. Wonder what it will be? He's threatening a bigger butt plug, but I hope he's kidding. He's been acting pretty domly the last few days with some unexpected, hard swats on my ass and some very dirty comments whispered into my ear.
Yesterday, something interesting happened when I was giving D a bj in the bathroom. He pulled his cock out of my mouth and started rubbing it all over my face and slapping me with it
. At first, I felt the overwhelming desire to laugh (thankfully, I didn't), but then it started to turn me on. I'm not sure if the actual act was what I found erotic, or the fact that he did something different. Without pushing or directing him, I've tried to show him my compliance and my eagerness for his control and sexual exploration (please, honey, when are going to bring that damn whip back out -- do I need to beg?). Anyway, he smacked me around with his cock and rubbed it all over my face while he held the back of my head firmly. Then he shoved it in my mouth again and told me to expect more when we were alone tonight.
I'm getting wet just sitting here thinking about it. Great, just in time for my meeting.
posted by Gabby Hey at 2:56 PM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Pieces of Me...or the Story of G, Part 1
Why is it that as soon as I get my sex drive back we can't seem to find the time to actually do anything about it? I'm feeling very deprived and slightly irritable today. The downpour out my window doesn't help, either.
Anyway, for lack of anything exciting to write and a lack of desire to focus on my growing work pile, I started thinking (ah, there she goes again) about - what else - passion and this strange little journey I'm on. Truth be told, my current state of mind actually permeates my entire life, and isn't just confined to my sexual self. The last couple of years brought to a head the very superficial and contrived life I'd been living. After years of trying to keep up with the Jones' and running at a frantic pace full of buy, buy, buy and work, work, work, I came close to losing it all: my mind, my soul, my home, my health, and my family. I began to drown my sorrows with mass amounts of alcohol and ended up in a treatment center. My time in rehab gave me the opportunity to slow down and be honest with myself about who I was and who I want to be. This renewed relationship with my husband and my sexual exploration is a direct result of that. But it also has affected every part of my life - spiritual, intellectual, physical. It's really helping me become a better mother, wife, worker, person. So here I am now...the new, improved healing me. I'll bet it surprised the hell out of D when I stopped drinking and then starting doing strange things like getting piercings and actually enjoying sex! Ah, life is good again.
This what I'm listening to now:
- Stand Up, Dave Mathews Band
- American Idiot, Green Day
- S&M, Metallica
- Rocket to Russian, The Ramones
- O Brother Where Art Thou, Soundtrack
- Cirque du Soleil: Alegria
This is what I'm reading (yes, all at the same time - call me manic...):
- The Story of O, by Pauline Reage
- Becoming Like God, by Michael Berg
- Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield
- The Loving Dominant
- God Wears Lipstick, by Karen Berg
Love and ((((hugs))))...G
posted by Gabby Hey at 9:43 AM
Monday, May 16, 2005
Relax and Enjoy the Ride
I think I need a 12 step program...maybe it can be called SA - Subs Anonymous. You take the steps to go from vanilla to submissive. I'm not getting much from the books I'm reading. To be honest, I get more information and guidance from personal blogs than from anything else. I was a little disappointed in the The Loving Dominant, as it seems more geared towards people interested in multiple partners or joining "the scene" and not long-term relationships or married couples. I guess BDSM for married folk is what you'd call a niche market.
One thing I am sure of, though, is that if I'm not careful I will end up topping from the bottom and turn this whole journey into a fiasco. I think it's all about balance. I've been very shy and uncomfortable over the years with sharing what I found enjoyable and stimulating, so now I'm trying to feed him bits of info and show him what I like by reacting appropriately. For instance, I mentioned to him this weekend that when he tied me up years ago (something like 14 years ago) I had really liked it. And I left it at that. I think I'm giving D the information he needs and wants, but I'm not going to push him in any direction anymore. He knows what I want and he's great at providing what I need. And even though, he hasn't read much of the literature, I've noticed more and more that his natural dominance is resurfacing as I give him my power and step back.
It's kind of funny, though, how our sex life is now taking on a life of it's own. It's because of our family life (children, dinner times, homework, work, etc), not an inclination towards D/s, that we have developed rituals and patterns of behaviour (even when trying to be spontaneous). D gets out the red bag of goodies and lays out his preferred toys and tools for the night on his side of the bed. After a fairly energetic and naughty session Saturday night, he held me and kissed me and told me how proud of me he is. It was the perfect balance of excitement and tenderness. Ah, bliss.
So, from now on, I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride...
posted by Gabby Hey at 8:14 AM