Friday, June 10, 2005
Rules of the Game
My husband D and I are slowly finding our way in my sexual revolution. D has never had a problem with sex, other than not getting enough of it. He has always been a horny bastard. And he has always liked his sex a little dirty and aggressive, but would ultimately take what he could get. Every once in awhile I would get drunk and throw him a kinky bone. Drinking was my excuse to let go of my inhibitions and give in to his
desires. I never considered that they were my
desires, too. I'm sure he thought that once I quit drinking for good (which I did) that he would be doomed to a lifetime of vanilla sex dished out on a regular, but limited, basis.
Au contraire, my sexy man. Sobriety has brought a clarity like never before. Not only did it push me to reconnect with my spiritual beliefs, but it gave me the confidence to be honest with myself. By being honest with myself, I began to discover some really interesting things that eventually led me here to the exhibitionist world of blogging. What I started reading here helped me shed some of my preconceived notions about marriage, sex, and gender roles.
One of the new ideas that I discovered in my sexual re/evolution is rules. It seems that rules play an important part in D/s relationships, whether they're strict lifestyle agreements or fun, lighthearted guidelines for sex play. Everyone seems to have rules, but me. See, one of the silly things I do is compare my relationship to other couples (in other words, I'm really good at taking your inventory, but not so good at taking my own). In hindsight I realized that every
relationship has rules - some verbalized, some tacit. So, it turns out I do have some rules. A couple, anyway.
Ds the Boss.
Always wear panties (thongs), because D has a panty thing. I am not allowed to wear granny panties ever again.
Don't rule anything out until I try it at least once.
I don't have to ask for sex. If I feel like I need to be satisfied, I am to suck Ds cock until it's hard and then jump on and ride him until I'm done. :-)
Not too bad, eh?
posted by Gabby Hey at 10:00 AM
Thursday, June 09, 2005
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
I'm going to have to call bullshit on that one. It has been my personal experience that giving in to temptation only leads to, you guessed it, more temptation. In fact I'm so consummed with temptation (Merriam-Webster's says to tempt is to entice to do wrong by promise of pleasure or gain) lately that I can't seem to get anything else done. I'm tempted to give into my lustful desires and spend my time reading the salacious writing of others on the web, tempted to please myself with my own hand, and tempted to beg my darling D to spank some sense into me. Of late, my temptation knows no bounds.
posted by Gabby Hey at 1:59 PM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Phone Sex Slut
My life is ripe with firsts lately. Yesterday, I had my first phone sex experience. And today, my darling Dom heard that I was alone at work and raced over to ravage me in the middle of the building. I have to admit that both of these experiences felt a little funny at first, but I think that's only because I'd never done them before. And, even though I'm growing away from my old view of myself, I sometimes have difficulty believing that I am a sexual being...that D finds me attractive and sexy. It can be so difficult to reconile the nurturing mommy wife with the wanton little slut, but I'm learning. I'm learning that I can be both of those women. In fact, that by being both of those women, I am essentially making myself whole.
Unfortunately, I don't have the literary expertise of the wonderfully talented Freya
, or the gift of conveying a story like some of my other online friends (J's introduction to ginger, Erica and Hardy's wit
, or Kaylem and Gabriel's adventures
) so it's difficult for me to convey the excitement and sheer naughtiness I felt by fucking myself while on the phone with my beloved.
D teased me all day at work with calls detailing what he was going to do me last night. Then he told me he was going to be a little late so I needed to go home and take care of myself. He was going to call me when it was time for me to masturbate. When he called there were other people in the car so he couldn't tell me what he wanted me to do, but he'd given me instructions earlier. I knew he wanted me naked except for my panties. D loves panties so I'm supposed to wear a thong at all times.
I told him what I was going to do. "I'm going to lick my vibrator and get it moist with my saliva so I can rub it on my clit and put it in my pussy. I'm going to suck on it, thinking about your hardening cock. Then I'm going to pull my panties to the side and rub the vibrating cock up and down my wet pussy and engorged clit."
By the time I was imagining his hard cock moving in and out of me and his big hands squeezing my nipples, I couldn't really speak anymore. I could only whisper and pant into the phone, telling him how badly I need to have my ass flogged and my pussy fucked by his long, hard cock. I was so wet that the vibrator slipped in and out easily.
I could hear his strong, deep voice quietly whispering to me to cum for him. With my heart racing and my pussy burning I did cum. I screamed his name and I came like thunder and lightening was ripping through my cunt. Afterwards, while my body was still somewhere else, he whispered that he loved me and told me I was his good girl.
And I am. I'm his good girl and his little slut.
posted by Gabby Hey at 8:20 AM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Let's Talk About Sex...
I've always had a problem talking about sex. Well, let me clarify that by saying I've always had a problem talking F2F about sex. It's pretty easy to talk about it anonymously in cyberspace. But I'm really trying hard to break down those walls that kept me an imprisoned ice queen (or cold fish, D would say) and not rule out anything that might strengthen my relationship and/or help promote an atmosphere for good humping. In fact, that's basically what I told D. I will not rule anything out without trying it first. Because, let's not forget, the key to life is great sex...great, kinky sex.
So after our wonderful, rough quickie this morning (that we didn't get to bring to completion) I've been receiving tortorous calls from D describing the delicious things he's going to do to my body tonight (nothing was brought up about the infamous vbp
, but he did mention my vibrator, my ass, a flogger, and something about being bent over the couch). I have instructions to go home before the clan is there, get out my pink vibrator and take care of myself. I think I'll call him while I'm playing with my pussy, just to give him a taste of his own medicine. WEG! It's only fair, since I've been a wet, writhing mess all day long.
BTW, D thought I should request new names for the vibrating butt plug. His submission is the Love Nub.
posted by Gabby Hey at 2:25 PM
Monday, June 06, 2005
Janesguide.com Says I'm Quality and Original
I am so flattered and humbled that janesguide.com
would take the time to read my little blog, let alone call it quality and original! Amazing. Thank you, Vamp, for your very kind words:
I love blogs that are authentic and intelligent accounts of sexuality, rather than the vapid bubblegum marketing of many mainstream porn sites with fake "journals". This is obviously one of the authentic ones, written by a woman that has spent a very long time feeling distanced from her sexuality. She shows you that an intelligent feminist mommy can be a smoldering volcano of submissive lust as well. She details her life with her husband, who she has been married to for around 9 years. They seem to love lingerie, toys, and spanking quite a bit. I think that this is a really great blog for anyone wanting to read about real submission. - Vamp
I guess I should probably start using spell checker now.
posted by Gabby Hey at 11:40 AM
"Topping from Below"
From Topping from Below, by Laura Reese
I'm not sure how the pain figures into all this, but on some sexual level I like being dominated, being controlled by another person. I can't explain it. As a feminist, it goes against everything I believe. All my life I've worked hard to establish and maintain my credibility. I've fought against men who tried to relegate me to a lesser position simply because I was a woman. I proved at work that I could be as strong, emotionally and intellectually, as any man. Yet now I find that M.'s dominion over me, is undeniably pleasurable.
I wonder what is happening to me.
posted by Gabby Hey at 11:06 AM